The behaviour that triggers you… is being kept alive by both of you.It’s not just on your partner.It’s not just because they won’t change.And it’s not because they don’t care.It’s because both of you have self-sabotaging patterns quietly running the show behind the scenes.Self-Sabotage Is Subtle, But It Shapes EverythingSelf-sabotage is cunning.It’s not loud. It’s […]
Most people think the way to improve their relationship is through fixing. Fixing themselves, fixing their partner, or fixing the communication.But “fixing” carries the hidden assumption that something is broken. That there’s something very wrong.And unless there is abuse or a major clash in values, the truth is that there usually isn’t really a “real” problem.What
When intimacy vanishes.When sex feels like a chore.When attraction between you fades.This is the reality of most long-term relationships.It gets blamed on:Different libidos.Growing apart.Or the classic line: “that’s just normal after years together.”Only normal in that it is common.Because the real reason intimacy dies is not biology, age, or compatibility.It’s sabotage.Conditioning that taught men to
Why Isn’t Your Relationship Getting the Same Investment as Your Lifestyle?You’ll have spent thousands on your holidays over the years.On fine wine.On the car that makes you feel alive.And yes, the holidays are a treat.You have worked hard for it. They are that opportunity to down tools and relax.You might even be waited on hand and
Are you feeling frustrated and sad that despite trying to express how you feel in your relationship, you end up feeling shut down or misunderstood? It is a common occurrence for many couples. The one person we want to ‘get’ us, is often the person that doesn’t seem to have any time for us or who
The therapy and relationship coaching industries have fallen into a dangerous trap of oversimplification. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with neat categories that promise to explain the complexity of human connection: “secure vs. anxious attachment,” “masculine vs. feminine energy,” “healthy vs. toxic behaviors,” “narcissist vs. empath” and so on. While these frameworks can offer initial
Relationships are a Power GameInformation alone cannot transform your relationship. Whilst you may realise that on an intellectual level, it is surprising how so many couples get stuck in cycles of thinking ‘we can sort this out on our own’. They try and work through their struggles by talking to friends or family, who also
A story of hope even when it felt impossibleA beautiful lady contacted me in the summer at her wits end about her relationship. She did not feel safe with her partner but was willing to explore whether it was as one sided as her mind was telling her. After speaking with me, she realised that it
Relationship Triggers: The Unexpected Gateway to Transformation We’ve all been there – those moments when our partner’s actions trigger something deep within us, sparking frustration, anger, or hurt. Those triggers that seem permanent, unchangeable, like they’ll always be a source of conflict in your relationship. But unfortunately most people miss the fact that these very triggers
6 Pillars of Healthy Relationships: Why Energy Matters More Than WordsWhen we talk about healthy relationships, we often focus on visible behaviors and communication patterns. However, there’s a deeper layer that many people overlook: this is, the energy behind our words and actions. Understanding the difference between clean and distorted or unhealthy energy can be
