Many of my clients come to me with great awareness of their relationship patterns.They understand their attachment styles, their communication issues, their love languages.They can explain to me what they see as the main difficulties that lie in the way of the relationship improving. They can also tell me what they see as their own […]
Why So Many Women Are Relating From Pseudo-Power — Not True Feminine PowerMany women in an understandable quest to be strong, capable and independent, adopt an energy of what I call ‘fake’ or pseudo-power in their relationship.It often sounds like:“I’m regulated.”“I’m not affected by his moods.”“I’ve done so much more work than he has, so
The Couples Who Have the Capacity to Go Far Beyond the NormNot every relationship has the same structural foundation.Some are naturally primed for profound transformation.Others are working against the grain of the bond itself.Below is the clearest way to understand the difference.THE COUPLES WHO THRIVEThe relationships that have the potential to go far beyond the
Your Triggers Aren’t the Problem, Your Identification With Them IsMost people misunderstand their triggers.They either fight them, avoid them, or outsource them to their partner.But a trigger is not an emotional inconvenience.It is a signal.A map showing you where to go.A portal into the identity that is running your relationship without your consent.The couples who
The behaviour that triggers you… is being kept alive by both of you.It’s not just on your partner.It’s not just because they won’t change.And it’s not because they don’t care.It’s because both of you have self-sabotaging patterns quietly running the show behind the scenes.Self-Sabotage Is Subtle, But It Shapes EverythingSelf-sabotage is cunning.It’s not loud. It’s
Most people think the way to improve their relationship is through fixing. Fixing themselves, fixing their partner, or fixing the communication.But “fixing” carries the hidden assumption that something is broken. That there’s something very wrong.And unless there is abuse or a major clash in values, the truth is that there usually isn’t really a “real” problem.What
When intimacy vanishes.When sex feels like a chore.When attraction between you fades.This is the reality of most long-term relationships.It gets blamed on:Different libidos.Growing apart.Or the classic line: “that’s just normal after years together.”Only normal in that it is common.Because the real reason intimacy dies is not biology, age, or compatibility.It’s sabotage.Conditioning that taught men to
Why Isn’t Your Relationship Getting the Same Investment as Your Lifestyle?You’ll have spent thousands on your holidays over the years.On fine wine.On the car that makes you feel alive.And yes, the holidays are a treat.You have worked hard for it. They are that opportunity to down tools and relax.You might even be waited on hand and
Are you feeling frustrated and sad that despite trying to express how you feel in your relationship, you end up feeling shut down or misunderstood? It is a common occurrence for many couples. The one person we want to ‘get’ us, is often the person that doesn’t seem to have any time for us or who
The therapy and relationship coaching industries have fallen into a dangerous trap of oversimplification. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with neat categories that promise to explain the complexity of human connection: “secure vs. anxious attachment,” “masculine vs. feminine energy,” “healthy vs. toxic behaviors,” “narcissist vs. empath” and so on. While these frameworks can offer initial
