Relationships are a Power Game

Information alone cannot transform your relationship. Whilst you may realise that on an intellectual level, it is surprising how so many couples get stuck in cycles of thinking 'we can sort this out on our own'. They try and work through their struggles by talking to friends or family, who also have little idea on how to create a highly fulfilling, connected and intimate relationship. They also do so with a fair amount of googling questions such as 'is my partner a narcissist?'

The trouble is, no matter how many articles you read or advice columns you follow, if you are not operating from your true power, these strategies will fall flat.

We live in an information-rich yet wisdom-poor society where we haven't been taught what being in our power actually looks like or feels like—leaving us fumbling in relationships despite having access to endless "how-to" guides.

The Energy Behind Romantic Relationships

When we enter a relationship, we bring our energy—either from our shadow (sabotaging, conditioned selves) or our true power. Shadow energy is distorted and dysfunctional. It creates patterns we don't want and often triggers our partner. This energy needs to be cleared up through nuanced and precise action.

When you are in your true power, on the other hand, you are aligned with who you really want to be and what is most important to you. You understand that the more aligned you are, the more you will create what you want. As a result, you are willing to do what it takes to be consistently in your power.

Relationships are therefore a power game, but not in the conventional sense. It's not about wielding power over your partner or establishing dominance. Rather, it's about mastering your own energy so you can show up in your authentic power more often than not. When you veer off path, you realise what you need to do to get back on course. You are willing to the uncomfortable thing because you know it is the right thing.

Over time this leads to you become more and more embodied in your true power. This is where you know that you have the power to change the dynamic of your relationship (aside from abusive relationships or where there is a fundamental clash of values). You not only know this to be true, but you have evidence to prove that this is the case because.....

As I mention above, you start creating more of what you want and your relationship begins to thrive and grow rather than stagnate and erode. 

Beyond Information to Embodiment

So, you can find countless relationship tips online, but information alone will not teach embodiment. Embodying your power involves:

• Recognising when you are operating from shadow (self sabotage) versus authentic power
• Understanding your unique energetic patterns and triggers
• Developing the capacity to shift your energy in real-time
• Honouring the energetic differences in how men and women have been conditioned and being willing to try new things in your relationship to ensure that this conditioning does not run the show.

The Limitations of External Advice

External sources, including AI (which I love, don't get me wrong), can provide information, but they cannot:

1. Feel your specific energetic state in any given moment
2. Understand the nuanced dynamics between you and your partner
3. Guide you through the precise emotional processing needed for your unique situation
4. Recognise your specific shadow patterns and how they manifest

Finding True Guidance

Real transformation requires more than information—it requires guidance from someone who has walked their talk. Only those who have journeyed through their own darkest moments and deepest pain, who have stumbled and risen in their own relationship, can offer the nuanced guidance necessary for this work.

A true guide doesn't just recite theories but speaks from lived experience. They can attune to your specific energy, recognise your unique patterns, and guide you through the precise actions needed for your situation. This personalised approach cannot be replicated by generic advice or AI-generated strategies that inevitably make assumptions about who you are and what matters to you.

Mastering Your Power

When you are aligned with your true power, you act with integrity and don't let sabotage win the day. This alignment creates:

• Greater authenticity in your interactions
• Less reactivity to triggers
• More consistent connection and intimacy with your partner
• The ability to honour differences without judgment

The journey toward mastering your energy is deeply personal. It requires practice, presence, and often leaving no stone unturned.

I have spent years refining my own unique method and framework and what I have come to know is that sabotage hangs out in places we don't think to look. It is often subtle, unspoken and dare I say it 'cunning'. It will try to keep you from experiencing rejection and discomfort. However, what it does not realise is that the seeds of transformation and your most real and loving relationship are hiding out in the exact feelings and thoughts that it is generally makes wrong.  

You biggest battle is never with your partner. It is always going to be with the status quo voice inside of you. The voice that is essentially avoidant, anxious, perfectionistic, arrogant, passive, and controlling. If we don't shine the light on this voice it will always create energetic distortion within a relationship. When this happens, slowly but surely the relationship starts to wither and die. Couples who find themselves in this position end up going round and round in circles highly frustrated because they can never seem to get beyond their conflict and avoidance.

If this is happening in your relationship you need to get much wiser and curious. There is a totally different way to connect with your partner.

In essence, this is all just a wonderful opportunity!

It all comes down to whether you are willing to hold up your hand and take responsibility for the FACT that you are playing a role in keeping your current dynamic alive. If you can do this, then it is just a matter of finding out the 'unpopular', little known information that your relationship is crying out for. 

There is a reason why the vast majority of couples struggle in long-term relationships. If all the information out there was really accurate, don't you think more relationships would be happy ones?!!

It is time to look where you haven't looked before.

Please feel free to get in touch to explore your next options.