When you feel stuck in your love life | Michele Willmott

When you feel stuck in your love life

If you keep repeating the same pattern in your love life to the extent you are feeling stuck and frustrated because you cannot seem to move past it, I invite you to read on.....

Whether your pattern is....

*Attracting the same kind of partners who are not a good match.

*Attracting partner's who seem a good match but who go cold on you.

*Attracting partner's who seem a good match but you go cold on them.

*Having the same kind of arguments that never get anywhere...and so you have to avoid going 'there'.

*Feeling unattractive and unwanted because your partner doesn't seem to be interested in sex the way you are.

*Your partner putting other people first before you.

*Your partner not hearing you when you try to explain how you feel.

*Perpetual feelings of loneliness in your relationship.

Or something similar.

This is what tends to happen to many of the men and women who experience this recurring pattern...

...they have to make up some narrative that they invest fully into believing in order to make themselves feel better and ultimately keep themselves 'safe'.

This becomes a cover up or a lie that they cannot see because they are so convinced that what they are telling themselves is true.

For example, they tell themselves they don't desire a relationship, man or woman 'like that'....i.e. they become very stubborn about their desires and standards all the while missing the fact that their ingrained lie is stopping them moving past a deep fear they are trying to keep from happening (usually that they cannot bear the thought of being rejected again).

They also might tell themselves that they 'can't be bothered' or they are 'finding their partner unattractive so maybe it's time to move on'....all of which there may be an element of truth in, but that's not the point.

The point is they are bothered deep down or at least want to be and they do want to find their partner attractive and be attractive to their partner too.

Another example is that many single people tell themselves they would rather be on their own or 'it's easier and better on my own'. They convince themselves that it is just not possible for them because they've 'tried everything' and so maybe they are 'meant to be single'. However, deep down they know that given the choice they would opt for the love of their lives every time.

So then what happens to these people?

They give up, they settle.

They never give themselves the opportunity to really see what is really going on because their mind has done such a good job on them.

They have fallen hook, line & sinker for their saboteur archetype. This is one of the sabotaging archetypes within us all and it is THE most cunning and sneaky.

On the other hand their Magician Archetype within who KNOWS how, when, what, where and who, unfortunately never gets to come out to create the huge transformation that was always waiting in the wings.

I see this in all of my clients to some extent but the good thing is they have decided that their lie does not get to have power over them and take a closer look at what is really going on.

If you, like them, would prefer not to settle because life is too short and you want to unlock yourself from the prison that is your saboteur and instead activate your inner Magician please do get in touch. Your love life can be far, far easier than you realise but you do have to decide that you are going to claim back your power to make that happen rather than giving your power away to the same old narrative. 

About the Author

Michele Willmott, Relationship Coach and Mentor. I help successful men, women and couples renew and transform their relationship for the long-term.