How cynicism can ruin your relationship | Michele Willmott

How cynicism can ruin your relationship

Higher quality conversations that lead to greater, more consistent intimacy and emotional connection in your relationship.....

...involve calling yourself out on your own limited perspectives.

Cynicism is a big one. We all love to be cynical especially when we think we smell a rat about something. There are a lot of scams out there and so it does pay to do our due diligence.

However, cynicism has a lower vibrational energy to it

Notice what it does to someone when you 'rain on their parade'. They are all excited about a new idea they have and want to share it with you and you can't help but be cynical because it sounds 'too good to be true'! The other person generally ends up feeling deflated because energetically the cynicism serves as a 'no, don't be who you are, don't take a risk'.

Due to the 'unattractive' energy cynicism holds this is how I deal with mine when it sometimes falls out of my mouth (I am only human after all). First and foremost it is a reason for me to get curious. Whilst there may be some truth in what I am saying......

....The real truth is there is ALWAYS another perspective that we are not seeing.

When we are only seeing things from a black and white perspective we are limiting ourselves in some shape or form.

Surely you don't want to do that?

I know I certainly don't. Most of all because I know that if I am speaking through such a lens I WILL be creating and attracting more of the outcomes or behaviours I don't want from myself and others.

I have seen this time and time again in my own life and in the relationships I work with. Shadow (our limited selves) attracts more shadow i.e. dysfunctional or misaligned outcomes. 

Our energy is either aligned with who we want to be and we are in full integrity or we are out of integrity.

For example, it's okay to be cynical when it happens. We are conditioned to think in this way.  However, we generally don't want to be a cynical person to the extent we are not able to see the ways in which we can grow and expand. We don't want to be someone who is not willing to take big action will create long-term change. If we are the latter we are out of integrity.

If we are out of integrity we will always find it a struggle to really change things. We will slip back into old habits and take action that creates only short-term incremental change. We will keep having to motivate ourselves or we will blame our partner because we don't know what else to do and nothing seems to be working.

So, let me ask you this, do you call yourself out, do you get curious about what words come out of your mouth? Are you willing to have a conversation about your perceived shortcomings with your partner in a way that doesn't berate you but just takes full responsibility?

Don't forget you are a conditioned being. Conditioned to speak and think in ways that will keep you from accessing your true power to create more and more abundance, love, health and wealth in ways that feel good to you.

You always have the power, but you have to be prepared to decide that you are going to do whatever it takes to be the person you want to be.

The success of your relationship is in your hands.

You are always more powerful than you realise. Society has just led you to believe this is not the case.

If you want to change the fundamental, underlying framework of your love life for good do get in touch. My work is designed to get you beyond the shadow limitations that will be running the show and free you up to create on a whole new level. You can see all my offerings on each of my specific coaching pages.

About the Author

Michele Willmott, Relationship Coach and Mentor. I help successful men, women and couples renew and transform their relationship for the long-term.