What is stopping you from being magnetic to a devoted man?
A man who is willing to commit to doing whatever it takes to meet you in your desires?
Whether you are in a relationship or single.
Why is it that you think you cannot have this or it hasn't happened yet?
Do you want a greater quality of emotional & physical intimacy with more presence, more connection, more fun?
Do you want to meet a partner who can MEET YOU in your desires?
What does your mind say about why this is not possible?
Does it say something like:
'there are not enough good men out there'; 'it's just the way he is'; 'I always seem to attract men who won't commit'; 'he is so defensive & lacking in self awareness'.
Whatever your mind says, the TRUTH is that YOU CAN create what you want & you can transform your situation regardless of your past. Of course nothing is perfect, but you completely have what it takes to go to the next level!
Women & their relationship with Desire.
Your desire is capable of creating pure magic in your romantic life!
I am not just talking about sexual desire (although that is part of it). When I say Desire, I mean your desires for MORE emotional, physical, intellectual & spiritual connection & intimacy with a Man!
Whether you are single or already in a relationship it doesn't matter. Your desire to take your romantic life onto a whole new level
is equivalent to your desire to live a fulfilled & joyful life.
Your desire is in fact your lifeblood & most women go their whole lives suppressing & ignoring their deep down yearning for ecstasy, freedom & intimacy in love!
Your desire is showing you the way & we must remember that it is human nature to have desires & to want to evolve.
Unfortunately as women, we have been conditioned to put our desires at the bottom of the pile. We have received messages that tell us we should put other people's needs before our own. We have been objectified in the media & by wounded men.
It is difficult to put ourselves first. Yet if we do not devote ourselves to ourselves first & foremost, we are not fully believing of our innate power to create & attract a man who will be fully devoted to us!
If you can envision your desires in your mind, there is a part of you who is able to create the desired outcome. It already knows what to do, but it just hasn't been activated fully yet. Instead the parts of you that would rather keep you safe & in your comfort zone are running the show.
You are a POWERFUL & CREATIVE human being with the capacity to create magic in your love life.
However, you have been conditioned to play down this power & to not take responsibility for it. Just think, society often encourages us to 'not get our hopes up' or 'get beyond our station!'
Other people love to tell us what we 'should' do & that we should be responsible as opposed to taking risks. Funnily enough these are the types of people who have a lived a life 'playing it safe' & usually feel threatened by the possibility that you might create something magical in your life leaving them feeling less than ordinary!
Going for what you truly desire is also threatening to the parts of you that are trying to stay with the familiar, so taking that step to go against your conditioning is often scary. But it is in these steps that you retrain your body & mind to know a different state of being. A state of being that supports you going for what you want & is able to receive lots of evidence that doing this actually works.
The trouble with looking for evidence before we take action!
When we first start stepping up in the direction of our desires, we do not always have much evidence to go by. This is enough to keep us stuck in patterns of thinking such as: What if I make myself look stupid? What will others think of me. What if he rejects me? What if I then decide to leave? What if he decides to leave me? What if this just doesn't work?
Thoughts such as these are examples of us giving our power away to our own mind. In those moments we forget that we are far more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. We also do not realise that transformation ALWAYS take place in a given moment & we can never control exactly what is going to happen. We must therefore be willing to take a step into the unknown, into not knowing how a particular situation will turn out.
We have to take that risk to speak up & express what we want, even though our mind wants us to believe that our partner is not capable of doing the thing we want them to do. Even though a part of us thinks we might get rejected or dismissed. We have to be willing to go out on that date when our mind is saying 'what's the point.'
We also have to be prepared to get it 'wrong', although there is no wrong & only learning. I have cried many a time in the past when speaking up for what I wanted. It was scary to start with but I am a human being with emotions & I choose to love & accept myself no matter what. I have learnt over time that the more I take a stand for my desires, the better I have become at doing it with a bit more finesse & in an empowered manner. This brings me on to.......
Speaking up in an empowered way!
Expressing your desires is not a reason to blame a partner for their failings. It is not an excuse to play the victim card & try to manipulate your partner into doing what you want against their wishes. Speaking up has to be done from a place of full ownership and what I mean by that is taking responsibility for your feelings & being willing to hear a 'No' from the other side. If you are with someone who is a decent person however, the chances are they will want to do their best to meet you in some way, even if it means that they initially appear defensive or resistant. We must give them the space to come to their own decision & take action in their own time.
We have to trust even though we have no evidence that it's okay to have a voice & to embrace our desires in this way.
At the end of the day, if your partner doesn't show willing time & time again & you know you made yourself explicitly clear in relation to what you want, then I recommend asking yourself the question: do I want to be with him?
Are you being as clear as you think you are in your communication?
Many of my clients express frustration regarding their partner, saying that they just don't seem to hear them or understand why something is so important to them. They seem to be constantly waiting for their partner to show up & be or do more for them.
If you are 'waiting' for this to happen, it generally means that you are still not taking enough responsibility in terms of owning your power to create what you want. There is ALWAYS something else you can be doing or saying.
The moral of the above point, is that before you go pointing the finger, it is likely that there is another conversation you can have or some further action you can take.
Knowing & believing that you are a powerful creator in love means that you must prioritise your desires, your values & your standards. It doesn't mean being having perfectionistic expectations, but it doesn't mean settling for less either.
Creating or attracting a relationship where a man is fully devoted to you in all the best ways means devoting yourself to yourself first & foremost. It means becoming the subject of your own desire rather than waiting for a man to give you confirmation that you are desirable. It also means being willing to show up as yourself & as I said above, make some mistakes along the way. As a woman you cannot expect a man to devote himself fully to you if you are hiding in the relationship, if you are not honest & if you are not taking responsibility for your own well-being.
Because prioritising oneself is a huge challenge for so many women I have devised a group programme called 'Devoted'. The next round of this programme starts on January 5th 2021. This programme will be carried out in a private Facebook group, with live calls & different levels of access to some private 1 to 1 sessions with me. You can find out more here.
As a result of this programme my clients have been able to:
- Put a stop to constant arguments & relate to their partner in a completely new & healthy way.
- Meet wonderful new men who are willing to meet them at their level when their past romantic situation only served them up men who were commitment-phobes!
- Are able to express their desires & embrace their vulnerability more than ever before & create responses (from their partner) so much better than they had ever imagined!
- Feel so much more empowered emotionally & mentally, not letting their emotion & thoughts dictate their lives.
IF you are going to take away anything from this post, what I want you to remember is that you ALREADY have what it takes within you to create an extraordinary love, but it is up to you to move beyond your conditioning that tries to tell you otherwise.
If you would like more in-depth, private support to help you create more emotional & physical intimacy in your romantic life, please get in touch or see 'Desire' my 1 to 1 programme for women.